Form SRD-1 · Public Release Catalogue Clearance: Civilian · Revision pending
MINISTRY OF UNRELATED GOODS SURPLUS RELEASE DIVISION EST The Ministry of
Unrelated Goods Surplus Release Division

FORM SRD-7 · Office of Civilian Records

Civilian Enrolment

Grade III — Provisional Civilian Member

Civilian Enrolment permits a member of the public to apply to be formally recorded as provisionally affiliated with the Ministry of Unrelated Goods. Applicants answer a short set of questions, pay a one-time application and processing fee, and — if the application is filed — are issued a packet of documents bearing several of their own answers. Enrolment is not employment, citizenship, clearance, or protection. It is an entry in a drawer.

Begin Application One-time fee · schedule pending · 5 documents issued
MINISTRY OF UNRELATED GOODS OFFICE OF CIVILIAN RECORDS EST Provisional

What It Costs

A single fee, paid once, to be processed and issued your packet. Membership itself is provisional and indefinite. There is no subscription and nothing recurring.

To Be Scheduled one-time

Application & Processing Fee

A single fee, payable once. The amount is pending publication by a committee that has not yet convened. You will not be charged today — see the notice below — and the fee, once set, will be non-refundable regardless of outcome, including no outcome.

Begin Application

What You Receive

On filing, new members are posted the following. Several items bear the answers you supply on the application form — your name, designation, division, and reason are reproduced exactly as entered.

Certificate of Provisional Membership

Printed on bonded stock and stamped, bearing your name, designation, and stated reason exactly as submitted. Suitable for framing. Not evidence of anything.

Civilian Clearance Card (Grade III)

A laminated card bearing your member number, your declared division, and a clearance level that grants no access. Photograph optional and actively discouraged.

Assigned Member Number

Issued from a deliberately non-sequential range so that no member may estimate how many others exist. The figure is not disclosed and is disputed internally.

Welcome Packet of Misfiled Forms

A folder of forms you did not request, including at least one you are required to complete and return to no one. Retain the folder. Do not retain the forms.

Single Rubber-Stamp Impression

One (1) genuine Ministry stamp, applied to a document of the Ministry’s choosing. Which document, and which stamp, are determined at the point of filing.

Member Privileges

Extended to provisional members for the duration of their standing.

  • The right to describe yourself as “affiliated” (provisionally, and without elaboration).
  • Advance notice of public releases, issued promptly after the fact.
  • Standing to submit requisitions, which will be acknowledged but not prioritized.
  • Retention of your name in a drawer for as long as the Ministry maintains drawers.

Terms of Standing

Submission of an application constitutes acceptance of the following, in full and without exception.

  1. A single application fee will apply. Its amount is pending publication and is not collected at this time.
  2. Membership confers no authority, no access, no employment, and no protection of any kind.
  3. Submitting a return address adds it to a list maintained for the purpose of notification. The list is unranked and may be read by no one.
  4. The Ministry reserves the right to reclassify, suspend, or decline to acknowledge any application without notice or reason.
  5. Answers you provide may be reproduced on issued documents exactly as entered, and may be retained whether or not membership is ever issued.
  6. This page is the entire understanding, pending review.
Begin Application Applications Open

FILE REF: SRD/CIVIL/ENROL · GRADE MEM-III-████ · STAMP: PROVISIONAL